niubi-book-chinese-foul-language-swear-words-eveline-chao-01

 

Wandering between air gates with a lot of time on my hands, I entered a book shop in Shanghai Pudong airport with the vague hope of finding an alternative to Vogue Australia or How to succeed in China in 5 minutes.

And for once, my low expectations weren’t disappointed : the title “NIUBI ! The Real Chinese you were never taught in school”, says it all. This book, brace yourself, contains words and phrases that would embarass the sneakiest passenger next seat looking over your shoulder..

 

You will learn many useful stuff including that Niubi means literally cow cunt”, how to write the original character for “fuck” that actually disappeared of phones and computers typing systems and many, many other phrases that my education forbids to disclose here because my mum reads this blog sometimes.

I’ll just say it contains anything from flirting and dating to gay slang, internet slang, sex, and even words for the kind of action you regret the next morning (you, not me, cause of course I never do such thing as regret).

A short introduction

A short introduction

 

 

Niubi  ! is abso-niubi-lutely hilar, and not in a gross stupid ha-ha way, because the author Eveline Chao conducted her research religiously and to the point of adding historical references, Chinese characters, pinyin pronunciation and even notes on regional slang differences. Don’t laugh, there is some serious work involved there. The book does carry some flaws that only a true connoisseur of Chinese language with sharp eyes would spot, but this only calls for a second edition. Would be fun for Eveline Chao to include some high-profile language specialists in the process for a brush-up. Just sayin’..

 

Available in any indecent bookstore or on Amazon here

 

PS According to China Smack, it did cause some controversy among Chinese netizens, if you have nothing else to do, read their comments

Yes please

Yes please

The coming of World Expo in Shanghai is not only bringing joys such as the multiplication of construction sites. It is also a time where the  government takes serious decisions : lately, Chinese authorities decided to kill Chinglish. For those who don’t know what that is, well the answer is in the name itself : Chinglish = Chinese + English, a mysterious mixed child that was born in China with the apparition of English names in an attempt to translate signalization and restaurant menus. So, is Chinglish really threatened?

I do not fear for its death, because this beautiful and unique “english words meet chinese grammar” phenomenon could not be cleaned out even if every single misspelled roadsigns were to be replaced – which would take a long time and be very expensive too.Who would do it anyway and how?

Even if it was to disappear off the streets of China it has a already a virtual life of its own, 8000+ members group on Facebook, thousands of pictures witnessing its existence on Flickr and now a real buzz on the net.

Why is Chinglish so popular? Well, maybe because we all make mistakes and there is something incredibly cute in this awkwardness. It is not about mockery even though there must be something satisfying as a Foreigner living in China to face the reversed situation : being able to spot incorrect spelling in a country where you are reminded constantly how far you from speaking correctly Chinese. People who really speak Chinese dedicated a LOT of time to learn it and know what I’m talking about.

As for myself, Chinglish really makes me smile, often when least expected. Lately, in a very stressful situation in which I was inquiring if my last love-at-the-first-sight-dress was ready to be picked up at my favorite shop, I received a text message from the store owner “No porbom”.

Who can make you smile and laugh like that everyday ?

In a place like Shanghai, professionnal are often confronted to the work language issue.

For instance, a company from a non-english speaking country establishes English as the official work language, hires Chinese staff and possibly Chinese-speaking staff. As long as email remains the tool of communication, this is fine – or almost. But when it comes to meetings, it can really be time-consuming. Take the example of a meeting between two foreign companies : a service provider and a client. 6 people around the table, 3 languages – and many different accents. Out of the 6, only 1 or 2 people are fluent in the 3 languages. The others only master A and B, or B and C languages. Sometimes, just one language.

It doesn’t come as a surprise that soon, micro conversations and comments on the side start on both ends of the table, some people stop listening. Instead of 1 hour, the meeting takes longer, the last points are reviewed in a rush because everyone has to run elsewhere. Honestly I don’t know about you but in the office there is almost nothing I hate more than over-lasting meetings.

What can we do about that? Learning Chinese overnight being pretty much out of the question, let’s look at some tips to make these meetings shorter and more effective for everyone :

  • Define an official language for the meeting and inform everyone involved. The question is “What are the key points that need to be resolved?” or “What is the goal of the meeting?” For instance, if this is resolving specific, technical issues that can only be monitored by executive local staff, make sure they talk to each other.
  • The interpreter. Is an interpreter needed? Hire one or chose a reliable person of your staff to act like one. For tips regarding interpreters, check this.
  • Decide the table seating before it starts. No, table seating are not only for weddings.
  • Have someone taking the minutes – this is a no brainer but make sure everyone gets the right documents before and after.
  • If possible, provide your staff mandatory language training  classes at lunch time. Most people will thank you for that.
  • And, to all foreign companies and public organizations looking to expand in China, there are plenty of very much qualified young professional who speak several languages  and that are looking for jobs out there. Just stop sending expat dudes who have no idea about where they are.

 

Like Georges would say : “What else?”

 

Hearing stuff you don't want to hear - Kidman in the Interpreter

Hearing stuff you don't want to hear - Kidman in the Interpreter © Universal Pictures

 

We all experience some awkwards moments in our life. In a past life as a French Chinese interpreter, I must say I encountered countless weird situations.

The Best Of…

  • From a lot of people : “What do you do?” “I am a french/chinese interpreter ” “Waw! And, do you speak chinese?” I honestly don’t know how many times I had to answer that one.
  • In France with a Chinese politic delegation – I was 23. The head of international relations of TV stations(probably thinking I was the hostess) “Can you go get the interpreter so we can get started?” “I am the interpreter”. The look on his face through the meeting was priceless.
  • In Jinan, Shandong province, with French acupuncters in a Chinese hospital. “Can you ask him if he knows where is the Spleen Meridian?” I still don’t have the slightest idea what is a Spleen Meridian.
  • From a town councillor during a cocktail in the honor of a Korean delegation  : “As you speak Chinese, you understand Korean too?” Minutes later, by the museum director. “As you speak Chinese, you understand Korean too?” I couldn’t resist “Yes naturally.Just like you : as a French, I assume you are fluent in Russian?”
  • In a theatre full of people while interpreting for a famous film director, a skinny guy from Taiwan right after I spoke :”No he didn’t say that. He said…” Basically just repeating the same with an awful accent. Thanks man..In the same theatre, a young French art student (the type with big hair) : “I have 3 questions”. Each of them lasted 5 minutes.
  • From another French interpreter : “I don’t know how to take it, but this lady just told me I look like a turtle. Do you think it’s some kind of compliment and a symbol of wiseness in China?” Surprised, I asked the Chinese lady “Why did you call her a turtle?” The Chinese lady (after much concentration) “I never called her a turtle. I called her a doll” The sound is not even close in Chinese…
  • Right before a live TV set, the director checking me out : “So, you want to be in the back or on set?”  Me (obviously not thinking) “As you like as long but I don’t do simultaneous”  ”Ok. Go on set” Have you ever seen an interpreter on a TV set? Well I did it…
  • From a French lady somewhere in the south of China :  “Can you ask where is the most remote village so we can go there and meet real peasants?”  As if the dudes we were seeing on the road weren’t real enough..Me (after carefully evaluating the situation) “Well there is one about 4 hrs walking but as it’s 11am and 40°C, I suggest we go to the nearest one. Only 1 hour walking through the mountain, okay?”
  • From a politician : “Don’t translate what I’m going to say. You are beautiful”.
  • From a Chinese business man during private oil negotiation where I was hired by the French side : “Don’t translate what I’m going to say. Do you want to work with us?” 
  • “So you speak Asian now?”

If you have some stories, please share xx

geek

 

When I was a child, I wanted to be an interpreter. It was all very clear in my mind. So at some point I grew up – but not quite, and became an interpreter.

Actually I celebrated my 20th birthday on my first assignment on a trip to Shandong province. From then, during 5/6 years in parallel of my studies/jobs I worked on different missions as a consecutive interpreter. I did it all: medicine & acupuncture, business & trade, crisis management, culture, tourism, books, travel, antiques, shopping, cinema, politics..This taught me a lot about China and I experienced amazing situations.

It is such an exciting job to do : never the same, always challenging. It taught me to work for very long hours with a high level of focus and pressure. I loved it. But (there is always a but) despite meeting interesting people, having access to a lot of information and doing a very much respected – and sometimes well-paid –  job, well an interpreter is constantly sleep deprived, under pressure and cannot eat at lunch/dinner because that’s the time people keep on talking and talking. Although I was always speaking, I never was speaking my mind : nobody wants the opinion of the interpreter and it is not your job anyway. So at some point, I moved to a different direction : media, but that’s another story.

As an interpreter in a past life, I feel entitle to share a few insights with those hiring translators and interpreters

  • Please consider this job is exhausting. Think about how tired you are at the end of the day. Multiply by 3 and you’re not even close to the level of exhaustion of an interpreter
  • An interpreter is not a machine nor a robot.
  • Briefs are very much welcomed if not mandatory. I once had a client saying “We’ll talk about environment”. Turned out the topic was oil trading. This is just annoying.
  • Don’t be cheap. I had clients who said “What?? But somebody just asked me for 10$”. 10$ job gives you 10$ performance.Period.
  • Make sure you hire the right person for the right job : don’t expect simultaneous interpreting with a student.
  • Simultaneous can only be made by professionals who had a special training (2 years at least).
  • Interpreting (oral) and translating (writing) are different jobs. One translator cannot necessarily interpret and vice versa.
  • Just because someone is fluent in a language doesn’t mean this person is able to interpret.

 

My best to all interpreters in the world xx